Black Belt Journal by The Black Mage

I'm 13 years-old.

That seems a pretty weird way to start off a journal, but I felt like saying it. After a joke post made on God Hates Fraggles, I decided to try a 4 Black Belt challenge on FF1NES, played on Nestopia of course.

JULY 28, 2008

10:33 AM - Began the game.

10:35 AM - Bought 4 Wooden Nunchucks and 5 Heal Potions.

10:40 AM - This is taking too long, pumped up the FPS to 240

10:44 AM - Bought 5 more Heal Potions, now I'm going to grind for 10 Pure Potions. Oh god.

10:47 AM - I'm going to make a ballsy move and try leveling up in the Temple of Fiends.

10:51 AM - I got the treasures, and tried to leave, and this happens:

10:53 AM - Reloaded savestate, and fled back to Corneria like a chicken. I'm LV2 again =(

10:54 AM - Leveled up to Level 3. Gonna try to raid the Temple of Fiends treasure again.

10:57 AM - I got the treasures from the Temple of Fiends and made it back alive

10:58 AM - Healed at an Inn, now I'm going to try to get enough money for 10 Pure Potions.

11:06 AM - Fuck yeah, I bought 10 Pure Potions.

11:10 AM - Have to leave for movers.

11:24 AM - Back, gonna grind a bit.

11:29 AM - Gonna go to the Temple of Fiends and level up.

11:38 AM - Fled back to Coneria, fucking wolves.

11:43 AM - Gonna try to level at the Temple of Fiends again, obviously I do not learn.

11:45 AM - Got my ass kicked even faster, I fled back to Coneria like a little chicken.

11:46 AM - Leveled up in the Coneria Area, I got to LV4, now I'm going to try to beat up Garland. I'm gonna listen to Jumpin Jack Flash while I do it.

11:49 AM - Suck it Garland. Gonna head off to Pravoka.

11:52 AM - Arrived at Pravoka.

11:53 AM - The hell? For some reason, when I got out of the Pravoka Inn, the NPCs stop moving, and one was blocking the way, so I had to go back to the Inn and pay money for them to start moving again. Weird.

11:55 AM - Took down the Pirates, now I'm going to grind to get 20 Heal Potions (1200 gil) and 10 Pure Potions (750 gil), oh fun.

11:56 AM - Ok, I'm gonna exploit the Kyzoku glitch to get the money. Back to Coneria!

12:00 PM - Bought 20 Heal Potions, I'm just gonna go ahead and use the Kyzoku glitch to get 99 Heal Potions

12:01 PM - A Kyzoku killed UNNE, since I'm OCD and want everyone in sync, I'm gonna try fighting them again without someone dying.

12:02 PM - GO TO HELL AND DIE KYZOKUS!

12:03 PM - GO TO HELL AND DIE KYZOKUS!

12:04 PM - CRITICAL FUCKING HIT!!! FUCK YOU!!!

12:05 PM - FUCK YOU KYZOKUS! YOUR FATHER WAS AN ELEPHANT AND YOUR MOTHER WAS A PORCUPINE!!!

12:07 PM - Ok, you know what? Fuck being in sync, I let two of my Black Belts die. How do you like that?! Fucking Kyzokus.

12:09 PM - Ok, I'm far too OCD, I'm going try putting them in sync, *reloads Save State*

12:11 PM - Finally, killed them without someone dying.

12:12 PM - Ok, fuck trying to get 99 Heal Potions, I bought 10 Pure Potions, now I'm going to raid Matoya's Treasures.

12:14 PM - Shit, UNNE got killed on the way there, so I had to flee back to Corneria.

12:16 PM - Raided Matoya's treasures. Made it to Level 5 btw.

12:20 PM - Made it back to Coneria, I'm done for today.

JULY 29, 2008

9:42 AM - Starting.

9:43 AM - Woo, made it to Elfland without anyone dying.

9:45 AM - Bought and gave Iron Nunchucks for everyone.

9:47 AM - Gonna to try to get to Dwarf Cave.

9:49 AM - Made it to Dwarf Cave with everyone alive.

9:50 AM - K, gonna leave the Dwarf Cave. Since I got all the treasures you're allowed at the moment.

9:52 AM - Made it back to Elfland with everyone barely alive, and healed at the Inn. I'm going to try to do the Kyzoku trick now.

9:53 AM - Disregard that, UNNE died. Back to the Church.

9:54 AM - Revived UNNE and made it to Coneria. Gonna do the Kyzoku trick now.

9:59 AM - Ok, I just bought 40 Heal Potions, 20 Pure Potions, and 2 Tents.

10:01 AM - Killed a few Imps, and healed at the Conerian Inn. Gonna try to go to Elfland.

10:02 AM - Arrived at Elfland, now I'm going to build a few levels

10:05 AM - Made it to Level 6, yay. I'm going to try to shoot for Level 9.

10:07 AM - FUCKING Wolves! Oh, and I have to go back to Coneria for the Church because I don't have enough fucking money. Fuck you.

10:09 AM - aaaaaaaaaaaaaa, I'm gonna reload my savestate.

10:11 AM - I'm back to where I was before the battle, and I ran like a chicken.

10:27 AM - Be right back.

10:50 AM - I'm back, I'm going to continue now.

11:03 AM - Made it to Level 7.

11:18 AM - A hearty fuck you too, thank god I saved before I fought this battle.

11:23 AM - Got to go, going to go eat at a restraunt. =)

JULY 30, 2008

1:02 PM - Ok, I'm back. Starting up the game.

1:09 PM - Made it to Level 8. Fuck yeah. Now I'm going to level up to Level 9. So I can finally take off those stupid Nunchucks.

1:37 PM - After much grinding, I made it to Level 9, time to take off those Nunchucks.

1:38 PM - I bought 99 Heal Potions, 5 Soft Potions, and 2 Houses with all the money I got from grinding.

1:40 PM - Alright, time to get to Marsh Cave.

1:41 PM - Entered Marsh Cave. Let's see how it goes...

1:43 PM - I'm one step away from the Wizards, let's see how this goes

1:44 PM - They killed UNNE, gonna reload my savestate.

1:45 PM - Killed them, those bitches. I used to think that Wizards were female humans, until I took a closer look and realized that they were squids.

1:48 PM - Made it out of the Marsh Cave. Woopee.

1:53 PM - A Geist killed UNNE, gun reload my savestate.

1:54 PM - Now I'm at the entrance of the Northwest Castle, I used a Tent and a few Heal Potions to bring my Team back to full HP.

1:55 PM - Rubbed UNNE, I bet he wished that happened to him in real life. Got to leave for a bit

2:05 PM - Back, let's try again.

2:06 PM - He didn't use RUB, but he killed everyone with FIR2 and LIT2. That bastard.

2:07 PM - Rubbed UNNE again.

2:08 PM - FIR2 killed UNNE.

2:13 PM - The fucker killed me AGAIN. That's it, I'm going to level up, in the Marsh Cave.

2:18 PM - Made it back to Efland, and bought as many Cabins I could, and spent the leftovers on Heal Potions.

2:19 PM - Made it to the Marsh Cave, now I'm going to level up.

2:43 PM - Made it to Level 10, time to get to Northwest Castle.

2:44 PM - Scratch that, LIKE died, time to go to the Elfland Clinic.

2:45 PM - Revived LIKE, then healed at the Inn. Awesome.

2:48 PM - Made it to the Northwest Castle, and savestated. I fought Astos, he killed LIKE with RUB but I reloaded the savestate.

2:50 PM - Killed Astos. I got alot of critical hits.

This was the finishing blow, I was too quick and didn't get the "Perished" or whatever part.

2:54 PM - Got the HERB from Matoya.

2:57 PM - Gave the HERB to the Elf Prince.

2:59 PM - Went to Coneria castle and got the TNT, then I healed at the Inn.

3:00 PM - Gave the TNT to Nerrick. I think I'll end here for today.

=)

JULY 30, 2008

11:40 AM - Starting,

11:42 AM - Shit, I forgot to save, so Nerrick doesn't have the TNT, everything else is fine tho.

11:44 AM - Gave Nerrick the TNT, again.

11:46 AM - Bought 2 Silver Bracelets, I'm going to go to the Northwest Castle and get the Power Staff.

11:50 AM - Got the Northwest Castle treasures. No way in hell am I going to get the ones from Marsh Cave.

11:53 AM - Went to Elfland and bought Caps for everyone. Healed at an Inn as well.

11:55 AM - Sold all the useless equipment and bought 2 more Silver Bracelets.

11:56 AM - Ok, I'm going to try leveling up in the Earth Cave.

11:58 AM - UNNE died, shit, now I have to go all the way back to Coneria for the clinic.

11:59 AM - Made it back to Coneria, and revived UNNE and healed.

12:01 PM - Made it to Level 11 while I was walking to the Earth Cave.

12:10 PM - Made it to Level 12, hooray for the Hall of Giants.

12:11 PM - Healed at Melmond.

12:12 PM - Gotta leave for summer band.

3:24 - Starting.

3:27 - Made it to the Earth Cave.

3:31 - Time to fight the Vampire.

3:32

A NEW RECORD!

3:36

This happened on the way out, I'm doomed.

3:39 - Made it to Coneria and revived everyone.

3:44 - UNNE died, and I beaten a battle without him by mistake. So I had to use my previous saved game at Coneria.

3:45 - Gave the RUBY to the Titan.

3:47 - Got the ROD from the omnipotent jackass.

3:51 - Visited Elfland to stock up on Heal Potions, Pure Potions, Cabins, and Houses.

3:55 - I'm at the Earth Cave entrance, Lich, here I come!

4:00 - UNNE died, so I restarted, thank god I used like 10 cabins before entering.

4:09 - I'm at Lich, let's see how this goes.

4:16 - Lich can go suck my balls. Made it to Level 13 as well.

4:17

I goofed up and ended up deleted the picture of me defeating Lich by mistake, so here's a picture of the Earth Altar instead.

4:18 - Made it out of the Earth Cave and went to Melmond to Heal. I think I'll end for today.

=)

JULY 31, 2008

6:13 - Starting.

6:14 - I'm going to try to go to the Crescent Lake.

6:15 - I'm going to take a few minutes off to see the second boss battle in DK64.

6:19 - Ok, back.

6:20 - Made it to the Crescent Lake.

6:22 - Got the Canoe and bought 99 Heal Potions.

6:26 - UNNE died, have to go back and revive him.

6:27 - Now SMEL died.

Still 6:27 - Revived them.

6:30 - Made it to the Entrance of the Ice Cave, used a House and 2 Cabins. I'm going in.

6:32 - Those motherfuckers! Images and Wraiths killed POOP!

6:33 - Restarted, I'm back in the entrance of the Ice Cave.

6:35 - Motherfucking Images killed POOP AGAIN!

6:38 - Motherfucking Mages!!!

6:40 - Mages killed me a SECOND TIME! Fuck it, I'm using savestates again.

6:42 - Images killed LIKE, I just went "fuck it" and savestated.

6:43 - FUCK YOU MAGES!!! Savestated again. Fuckers.

Still 6:43 - Images + Dead LIKE, WHAT DOES THIS EQUAL?!

6:44 - MAGES

Still 6:44 - MAGES

6:45 - Fucking Wraith/Image/Geist gangbang.

6:47 - Due to my OCD, and since Frost Dragons are technically a sideboss, I tried fighting them. Raped my party in 2 turns.

6:48 - Tried again many times, got killed all those times.

6:49 - After like the seventh try, I kiled them, never used BLIZZARD that time.

6:50 - Eye'ma ready for ya.

6:51 - XXXX killed POOP.

6:52 - XXXX killed POOP again.

Still 6:52 - XXXX killed POOP again.

6:53 - XXXX killed POOP again.

Still 6:53 - XXXX killed UNNE. (Changed the order)

6:54 - Why did they call it "XXXX" sounds like a porno. Oh, and POOP got killed.

6:55 - Killed POOP.

6:56 - HELL YES! I killed the Eye, everyone hit him and killed him before he can use XXXX. FUCK YEAH!

6:57 - Made it out of the Ice Cave.

7:04 - I'm going to go walking, be back later.

9:47 - Starting.

Still 9:47 - A fucking Hydra killed UNNE already. Shit.

9:48 - Starting. (Again)

9:49 - Used the FLOATER, and up comes the Airship. Now, it's time for epic masterplan that will fail miserable due to lack of gil I bet.

Still 9:49 - Made it to Gaia. Bought one ProRing.

9:50 - Now, I'm going to go back to the Ice Cave and build up levels by beating up the EYE. I only have one ProRing, and it's on UNNE. This will end bad I bet.

9:51 - Scratch that, I sold off the two Ice Equipment I got somehow, and was able to get another ProRing.

9:52 - Made it back to the Ice Cave. Hopefully I won't die.

9:54 - Hmm...I wonder if I should stop and fight another Ice Dragon...

Still 9:54 - Killed them.

9:55 - Red Bone killed UNNE. Gogo savestates.

9:56 - Made it to the floor the EYE is on.

9:57 - Made it to Level 14.

10:00 - Aww shit, he has BREAK, that's gonna be a problem.

10:06 - Made it to Level 15.

10:08 - Made it to Level 16.

10:09 - Ok, I ended up fighting Mages, who for some reason, thought I could beat. Which I did, but they hurt my party real bad, and I'm almost out of Heal Potions. I'm gonna go back to Gaia to get 2 more ProRings and more Heal Potions.

10:11 - Made it to Gaia and bought 2 more ProRings.

10:12 - Gaia's item shop doesn't have Heal Potions on top, so I'm going to go to Coneria and buy them.

10:13 - Bought 99 Heal Potions, now I'm gonna go back to the Ice Cave.

10:15 - Mages killed UNNE and LIKE with their god damn LIT2. I'd go back, but fuck it, I'm close to going to bed. I'm gonna use savestates.

10:17 - Made it to the area the EYE is at. Gonna level up some more.

10:19 - Made it to Level 17.

10:21 - Made it to Level 18.

10:25 - Made it to Level 19.

10:28 - Made it to Level 20, I'm done leveling.

10:31 - Made it out.

10:32 - Arrived at the Gurgu Volcano.

10:35 - I'm going to fight the Flame Dragon for shits and giggles.

10:36 - Killed him in one turn, he didn't even get to attack.

10:37 - Time to fight Kary.

Still 10:37 - Killed her in 2 turns.

10:38 - Alright, I'm done for today.

AUGUST 1, 2008

8:51 PM - Starting.

8:52 PM - A CATMAN killed LIKE with CRACK. The hell?!

8:52 PM - Made it to the Castle of Ordeals.

8:55 PM - A MANCAT killed POOP with FIRE2.

8:57 PM - Made it out. Gonna take a small break.

9:10 PM - Back.

9:15 PM - Made it to Onlak, ERR I MEAN ONRAC!

9:16 PM - Left Onrac so I can get 99 Heal Potions. Onrac's Item Shop doesn't have Heal Potions on top.

9:18 PM - Bought 99 Heal Potions.

9:21 PM - Fuck, I forgot about the fairy. Onwards to the Caravan.

9:22 PM - Made it to Level 21. Yay.

Still 9:22 PM - Bought the Fairy.

9:24 PM - Got the OXYALE, time for Onrac.

9:26 PM - SHIT! Got anally raped by Frost Wolves and a Frost Giant that wouldn't let me run.

9:27 PM - I'm in the Sea Shrine.

9:32 PM - Got the SLAB.

9:41 PM - I got a Ribbon. Yessssssss

9:45 PM - Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Kraken!

9:46

Why is Kraken purple on my emulator?

9:48 PM - Killed Kraken in 2 turns. And made it to Level 22.

9:49 PM - I'm done for today.

AUGUST 2, 2008

10:33 PM - Starting.

10:35 PM

The legend himself

10:39 PM - Went to Coneria, and bought 99 Heal Potions.

19:43 PM - Went to Lufein and got the chime.

10:46 PM - Made it to the Mirage Tower.

10:49 PM - Shit, I forgot about the Waterfall.

10:51 PM - Made it out.

11:54 PM - Got a Ribbon.

10:56 PM - Got the CUBE.

11:01 PM - Made it out.

11:03 PM - Went to Coneria and healed. Gonna take a break.

11:35 PM - I'm back. Starting.

11:37 PM - Going to the Mirage Tower, made it to Level 23 as well.

Still 11:37 PM - Scratch that, I'm going to Coneria to get some supplies.

11:38 PM - Bought 99 Heal Potions. I'm gonna go to Elfland and get some Houses.

11:41 PM - Bought some Houses and Pure Potions.

11:42 PM - Entered the Mirage Tower.

11:43 PM - Killed the Blue Dragon in 2 hits.

11:44 PM - I'm going to level up using the Blue Dragon.

11:51 PM - Made it to Level 24.

11:52 PM - Shit, ran out of Heal Potions. Have to get some more.

11:56 PM - Made it back to Coneria, revived the dead party members who died on the way back, healed at an Inn, and bought 99 Heal Potions. I'm not gonna bother leveling up anymore. Back to the Mirage Tower!

11:58 PM - I'm at the Flying Fortress.

12:00 AM - Got the last Ribbon.

12:01 AM - I'm at the last floor. I'm going to attempt to beat WarMECH.

12:05 AM - WarMECH represents gay pride.

12:07 AM - Defeated WarMECH, result of the battle.

12:09 AM - Tiamat was easy. Made it to Level 25. Ending for today.

AUGUST 3, 2008

6:13 PM - Starting.

6:15 PM - Went to Coneria, healed, bought 99 Heal Potions, and bought a few Pure Potions. Time to head to the Temple of Fiends.

6:17 PM - IM BACK IN TIME HOLY SHIT

6:19 PM - How the hell did UNNE die by RUB?! He had a Ribbon AND a ProRing!

6:20 PM - STOP KILLING UNNE YOU FAGGOTS

6:22 PM - The PHANTOM was easy.

6:24 PM - Damn Lich and his NUKE.

6:25 PM - Lich was easy at full HP.

6:27 PM - I'm going to find a Fire Giant to heal with.

6:28 PM - Screw it, I'm going to get ahead and fight Kary.

6:31 PM - Got my ass kicked, so I decided to do the trick anyway. I found a Fire Giant.

6:33 PM - I think I'm healed enough. Gonna fight Kary again.

6:34 PM - Kary killed someone.

Still 6:34 PM - Killed her in one turn.

6:35 PM - SHIT! Two people got killed by an army of Sahags.

6:36 PM - Kraken killed UNNE.

6:37 PM - Kraken killed SMEL.

Still 6:37 PM - Took down Kraken.

6:38 PM - Got the Masmune.

6:41 PM - Tiamat killed POOP.

6:42 PM - Tiamat killed SMEL.

Still 6:42 PM - Tiamat killed SMEL and POOP.

6:43 PM - Tiamat killed POOP.

6:44 PM - Tiamat killed POOP.

Still 6:44 PM - Made that Tiamat bitch suck it down.

6:49 PM - Chaos raped me.

6:50 PM - Chaos killed me.

6:51 PM - Chaos killed me.

6:53 PM - I'VE BEATEN CHAOS! WITH FOUR BLACK BELTS! WITH SAVESTATES!

The End

Sorry, I wasn't able to get pics for any of this, well I did, but a glitch ended up deleting them. Oh well.